Building Cultures of Relational Care
An energising new publication from the National Association for Youth Justice focuses on relational practice with children. Written by Mike Farrington & Ali Wigzell, The Heart of Practice: Building Cultures of Relational Care focuses on the key fact that most children need to feel that they are cared for by workers in order to trust them and make a relationship which supports them in building themselves a better future.
The briefing deliberately uses the language of care, love and loving care. It acknowledges that some professionals may baulk at these words and indeed some children too. However, the authors say that it is very clear from their interviews with children and young adults that they derive emotional pleasure from interactions with workers in which they genuinely feel cared for, supporting their engagement and positive outcomes.
A focus on practice
The paper starts trying to unpick this concept and sets out what “professionally loving care” might be, lamenting along the way that the English word love is not up to the task. However, the real value of the briefing – in my eyes at least – is that it focuses on what professionally loving care AKA relational practice is actually manifested.
The briefing includes a helpful list of ten features which children in contact with caring professionals highlight as important. I replicate the list in full below.
- “Gives a sh*t”: The adage often given to teachers that students want to ‘know that you care before they care what you know’ is applicable here. This is best communicated through action, but at its simplest children want to know whether you genuinely care about their well-being, or whether they are just ‘another case’.
- “They do what they say”: For children, a central way of determining care and building trust is whether or not the adult does what they say they are going to do . This includes frankness about what is and is not possible (within a context of aspiration), and transparency if things that have been offered cannot be provided.
- “Not always on downer”: Children (particularly as the enter their adolescence), more than most, need encouragement and hope. This can sometimes be difficult in a role that encompasses harm and risk but change is more likely to come from a strengths and assets based approach (that supports children to focus towards interests and aspirations) than an emphasis on error and consequence.
- “Never gives up”: Children need commitment; two major components of this are perseverance (not being easily discouraged) and forgiveness (e.g. trying not to take things personally).
- “Goes the extra mile”: Performing actions above and beyond the ‘norm’.
- “Has time for me”: This may be obvious, but time and attention help children to feel they matter.
- “Looks like they enjoy themselves”: Children will quickly pick up on whether a worker wants to be with them and spend time with them or would rather not.
- “They’re there if I need them”: Availability is a line that needs to be carefully managed but having someone to turn to even outside of scheduled meetings is another way children experience care and concern.
- “They don’t patronise me”: Children do not want to be looked down upon, but want someone who can get alongside them, and think and work through things together. In other words, recognising children as capable experts in their own lives (if sometimes in need of guidance) is a key footing to communicate care.
- “Not afraid to give a bit of themselves”: Children say that they value workers who will share small details of their lives, such as their favourite football team or hobbies. This makes them more human and genuine, which they link to trustworthiness.
Making this work in an organisation
While I am sure this list will resonate with readers, putting this approach into practice for youth justice workers for instance is obviously not straightforward. Once again, the briefing is invaluable and covers many of the key challenges. It urges transparency and accountability and clear boundaries. In this case, internal boundaries (am I doing this to meet my needs or the child’s? Beware of the “saviour” complex) are as important as external ones.
There are a host of helpful discussions around such key issues as:
- Skilful self-disclosure
- Being wise with physical touch
- Giving and receiving gifts
The paper also looks at how an organisation can support relational practice while safeguarding the needs of children and supporting workers.
The briefing is not of course a how-to guide, there is quite clearly not one way of delivering professionally loving care but it is a brilliant starting point for professionals, teams and organisations to read and come together to discuss. The paper ends with a helpful list of key factors which the authors suggest can help grow a culture of professional care:
- Care is valued as skilled work, not an optional add-on to professional duties.
- Structures enable relationships, rather than restrict them — through manageable caseloads, reflective supervision and flexibility.
- Practitioners are cared for, with time and support to process the emotional demands of relational work.
- Leadership models care, with openness, consistency and compassion.
- Children’s voices shape practice, informing how services understand and define what ‘good care’ feels like.
Thanks to Kelly Sikkema for kind permission to use the header image in this post which was previously published on Unsplash.
